Twist of fate

Stawb Peter | ৩১ জানুয়ারি ২০০৮ ১১:২৫ অপরাহ্ন

“Kid… you sure about this? Look this isn’t a toy…it’s the real thing—you pull the trigger and it’s all over in a split second!”

moonlight-rater-pistol-2.jpgHe was sweating profusely; sweat dripping off his forehead said it all. His heart was in his mouth, and he exactly knew what he was doing. His eyes showed the gravity, his voice transcended his determination. He looked straight in the eye and said, “I know what I’m doing. Just give it to me, you got your money, give me my thing—there’s someone I need to take care of.”

There was a moment of silence and glances. No words, only heavy breathing, the atmosphere was all nerves. With the pistol under his jacket Jason walked off in the darkness. It was high time he took care of someone… That someone was… he himself!

It was full moon, the clock struck 1’o clock. He placed the shiny silver pistol under his face right behind the chin. The cold touch of metal felt like a needle piercing his skin that sent a chill down his spine. Loaded with only two bullets, he knew he would only need one. He reminisced about everything that happened to him so far—all the failures, sufferings and his weaknesses. He wasn’t killing himself out of the sorrow of losing so many loved ones, but for not having the control over fate… fate that had brought him to an intersection with four dead ends! His life, his rules, his decisions…only his and yet it all seemed so dull. So… it was time to end it!

He put his finger on the trigger. He felt the chill on his finger tips, felt sweat drip off his nose, closed his eyes and then all he said to himself was… “Ok… no wait! There still might be a way. There still might be better days. There still… might be a better life. All I need to do is… give myself another chance.” He loosened his grip from the pistol and looked out the window.

The next day he woke up, one new morning… one more morning which he might have never seen. From then, another year went by and then, out of the blue, he meets a girl… another girl! Jason had moved on and so had his life, he was studying in the university now and was making new friends and in the process he met Shehnaz. She had faced disasters with her family’s mishandling, all alone now having lost both parents at twenty, came across his path as someone who taught him an all new meaning of life. Jason never took this as coincidence, it was meant to be. She became one amongst the good friends he had; there was more than sympathy for the girl, he had respect for her. So he never spent time mourning with her but rather tried to make sure that she was always there with him and the other friends, having a good time.

Almost three months into this friendship, the girl proposed her love for him. He has always been weak towards the girl from the very beginning and knowing her even better over the last three months, he gave in.

The two spent a wonderful month together when all on a sudden they got a reality check! Coming from separate religions, and different family orientations, thinking of long term stable relations seemed difficult. Jason knew that he would have no future with her – at least not a future that will be accepted by his family and if the girl did not come under the same religion the slim chance that still could be there wouldn’t even exist. With the girl’s unfortunate recent happenings being known to Jason’s parents, he was compelled to think over everything again. Explaining the issue was very difficult to the girl but what was even more difficult was getting her to understand what he was trying to explain. What followed was a rough time with profound misunderstanding and misinterpretations.

Jason does not know now what his future holds for him. He is waiting for divine intervention in the matter…that is if God is merciful enough. This is an ongoing issue. Jason wants this to be his last love, his last hope and his only future. He has had enough playing games and accepting his family’s regulations. Yet being the eldest of the family he also knows that he has responsibilities towards his parents in their old age. If they do not accept Jason’s decision, then they might want Jason to leave the family and take his own way. Jason is willing to do so, but it is more than just his family that he will be dismissed from. His life revolves around so many people in so many places. He might have to depart from them all.

Should he do for one soul he’d just met, or should he be for all the souls who’d met him?

Aristotle said: To be is to do…

Socrates said: To do is to be…

Jason say: To do…to be…Do? be? do? be? do… !!!

Illustration: Khaled Mahmud

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